People often come to me, unsatisfied with an aspect of their life and believing they have no options to change.

A part of life coaching I immensely enjoy,  slowly opens up perceptions and imaginations to help people realize that in fact whatever the circumstance our lives are open to whatever we choose to put in them.

Life is a blank canvas, waiting for you to paint the picture you most want to live.

Blank canvas living or life outside the box is an exciting way to live.

Your life is like a painting, some will appreciate the style, and particular nuances and details, for others it is completely not their thing.

Great artists have become famous by experimenting with new concepts outside of the current norm. This experimentation and freedom of expression has throughout history created new movements in art; paintings, music, architecture and in business.

So, why do so many of us stay stuck in ‘boxes’?

Boxes that offer us limitations, based on what we know, or have experienced. Boxes that hold us back from our full purposes and enjoying an abundant life. 

Boxes that mean sometimes we are so focused on the can’ts that we can’t see the wood for the trees.

Boxes in our thinking can be created by our upbringing and what we have been told is acceptable, by innate needs we may have such as to please people, to be accepted, to be ‘successful’, or to not be alone.

Living a life outside the box of social norms, expectations, ‘shoulds’ , ‘should nots’, or the need to please people is fun and fulfilling and full of personal growth. (I am not saying we don’t honour each other, but more that we don’t make life choices and decisions solely around pleasing each other)

In the last 6 years I’ve been redesigning my life and my thought processes, breaking free from misconceptions I was carrying around for years about what should be.

Here are a few thoughts:-

The need for a label – one of my life decisions has been to live out a dream of living part of the year in England and part in America. In England when people constantly asked me whether I was back to stay, at first I felt a little at a loss as to what to respond. I didn’t feel I was ‘back to stay’ so to speak, yet ….I wanted to express that England is on many levels a ‘home base’. A friend of mine helped me out by saying; ‘face it you are a hybrid’. As soon as I heard that I had peace. Having this label helped me to start to express what it was I wanted to do.

We can benefit from having a label to express things we want to do that are outside a current one of our boxes. It helps clarify new concepts where you don’t yet have language, or that people don’t yet have an understanding of. In coaching sessions when we come up with a word for a particular new idea or a new season or stage, finding the language for it brings breakthrough. The word or phrase can be anything, but must be one that resonates and explains what it is you are trying to create or grow into. For me being a ‘hybrid’ or ‘hybrid living’ is something I am now in the process of defining for my life.

The power of life and death is in the tongue, so being able to find the words for the change you want to bring about and speaking them out brings life and momentum to your journey  beginning.

Facing challenges and staying self-aware – Let me tell you so far, life across two countries has many challenges; storing stuff, delayed suitcases, owning cars in two countries, flexible gym memberships, no contract deals, constantly adapting to different accommodation and time zones! I’m slowly working it out.

Difficulty in living out a dream that is outside the box does not necessarily mean you have it wrong. If it is outside the box, and you are creating a new picture from a blank canvas it takes time and effort. Experimenting with the different methods and working out what works for you and your personality, what brings you alive, is a process. In my opinion for something that is a whole new lifestyle, this process can often take two years after the first step.

It’s important not to give up or go back to the familiar, but to push through. You are after all pioneering new pathways of how to live life and after a while these will become the norm. Then you realize you are no longer so far outside of the box. Your normal has shifted.

It’s a whole new world, until the next time when you bump up against the edge of the new much bigger box you are in, 🙂